i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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