just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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