I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
