Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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