i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize