if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
