I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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