so that wasnt chicken after all
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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