are you so shy because you have an std?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
