Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
