He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
