Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
