xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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