So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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