I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
