it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
