hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
