u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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