Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
