Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize