it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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