just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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