SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
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Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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