You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
