there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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