R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
