I cannot find my penis.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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