Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
