His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
