do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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