Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
