I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
