Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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