At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My pussy is not your playground.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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