Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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