New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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