either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just found a bag of teeth...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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