that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
