If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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