just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
