I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
