If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
