If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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