I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize