I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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