i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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