I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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