with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
