before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
