Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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