no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
