Already got asked if we're dating
my phone needs a breathalizer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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