don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
