Betty ford says i'm here all night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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