When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize