I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
