i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
