I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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