It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
