I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
