This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How naked do you want me to be?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
