i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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