Fine. I'll sleep in my office
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
