I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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